Updated: 21 Apr 2008

Cultural Hints and Etiquette

based on the leading guidebooks

Cultural differences extend to all sorts of little things. While allowances will usually be made for foreigners, visitors unacquainted with Indian customs may need a little preparation to avoid causing offence or making fools of themselves. The do's and don'ts listed here is hardly exhaustive - when in doubt, watch what the Indian people around you are doing. Quite a few of this etiquette applies within Ananda Marga as well, and there are often good reasons. If you like, I can explain them during the tour in more detail.

Eating and the right hand rule

Eating can be a quite sensitive point. It is often done with the fingers, and requires a bit of practice to get it right. Rule one is eat with your right hand only. In India, as all across Asia, the left hand is for wiping your bottom, cleaning your feet and other unsavoury functions (you also put on and take off your shoes with the left hand), while the right hand is for eating, shaking hands and so on. (makes sense hygienically!)

Quite how rigid individuals are about this rule tends to vary, with Brahmins and Southerners being the strictest. While you can hold a cup or utensil with your left hand and can usually get away with using it to help you tear your chapatti, you should not eat, pass food or wipe your mouth with your left hand.

In general do not pass anything to anyone with your left hand, or point at anyone either. In general you should accept things with your right hand. Which is also a social norm in Ananda Marga. (To give and receive with the right hand while touching the elbow of the right arm with the left hand.)

The other rule to be aware of when eating or drinking is that your lips should not touch other people's food. Don't, for example, take a bite out of a chapatti and pass it on. When drinking out of a cup or bottle to be shared with others, don't let it touch your lips, but rather pour it directly into your mouth. This custom also protects you from diseases like hepatitis. Although in the west it is considered rather unsociable not to share, during the tour, we'll follow this rule. Keep your own water bottle and learn the pouring method, which takes some practice, especially in a moving train. It is customary to wash your hands and feet before and after eating. Half bath in Ananda Marga...

Temples and Religion

Religion is taken very seriously in India. It is always important to show proper respect to religious buildings, shrines, images and people at prayer. When entering a temple or mosque, remove your shoes and leave them at the door (socks are okay in summer to protect your feet from burning hot stone or the cold in winter). Some temples - especially Jain ones - do not allow you to enter wearing or carrying leather articles. At a Buddhist Stupa or monument, you should always walk around clockwise (i.e. with the stupa on your right). Hindus are very superstitious about taking photos of images of deities or the inside of temples.

If in doubt, desist. Never take photos of funerals or cremations. In general, if you like to take photos (close up) of people, seek their permission first.

Dress

Indian people are very conservative about dress. Women are expected to dress modestly with legs and shoulders covered. Trousers are acceptable, but shorts and short skirts are offensive to many. Men should always wear a shirt in public, and avoid shorts (a sign of low caste). These rules are even more important in temples and Mosques.

In general Indians find it hard to understand why rich tourists should wander around in ragged clothing, dress shamelessly like prostitutes, or imitate the lowest ranks of Indian society, who would dearly love to have something more decent to wear. Staying well-groomed and dressing respectably (and you don't have to go over the top) vastly improves the impression you have on the local people, and reduces sexual harassment too. (Really you don't want to be stared or leered at.) Indian dress fits in with most Indian values, though lungis worn by men are not regarded favourably away from beaches.

Other Possible Gaffes

Kissing, or embracing, hugging between the opposite sex are regarded as part of sex; do not do them in public. It is not even a good idea for couples to hold hand. Unlike what we are used to in many western countries, it's normal for men to hold hands as a sign of friendship.

To keep the unity in the group and to keep the focus on our inner growth, I'd like to discourage any unnecessary close contact, imagine that you are brothers and sisters within the same family. So... no kissing, hugging, embracing or massages even when only with our own group. Please respect this! If you find it difficult to accept, maybe this tour is not what you are looking for.

Be aware of your feet. When entering a private home, you should normally remove your shoes (follow your host's example); when sitting, avoid pointing the soles of your feet at anyone, at the altar or at Guru's photo. Accidental touching someone with one's foot is always followed by an apology..

Use of Water

As mentioned above, in most of Asia the left hand is used to wipe your bottom. After passing stool, while pouring water from behind with the right hand, you clean the area with the middle finger of the left hand. Just keep pouring water and using your fingers till it's clean. For most people from the west this is really difficult to do, but the sooner you get used to it the better. And one complex less. Besides, toilet paper is often not available, the diameter of the toilet pipes is narrow, and there is often no flushing system. So even if you can get it, toilet paper will tend to clog the drain quite easily, and then your host will have to somehow open it again...

Washing with water cleans much better than toilet paper, is more hygienic, and cools the lower chakras at the same time. In Ananda Marga water is used for this reason, after passing urine as well. (This is all part of our 16 points) Some people still like to use paper to dry themselves. Of course afterwards you should, as with paper, wash your hands with soap. Rub the soap in the right hand (your clean hand remember :-) ), put back the soap, then clean the left hand with the right. Do you know how much forest is cut, just to make toilet paper? My experience is that, after getting over my initial aversion, I feel better using water, and actually feel kind of dirty if, for any reason I can't use water to clean afterwards.

Meeting People

Westerners have an ambiguous status in Indian eyes. In one way, you represent the rich guy, whose culture dominates the world, and the old colonial mentality has not completely disappeared: in that sense, some Indians may see you as "better" than them. On the other hand, as a non-Hindu, you are an outcast and have low moral values.

Your presence is, in theory, polluting to an orthodox or high cast Hindu, while to members of all religions, your morals and your standards of spiritual and physical cleanliness are suspect: in that sense Indians may see themselves as better than you. Even if you are of Indian origin, you may be considered to suffer from western corruption, and people may test you out on it.

Nonetheless, as a traveler in India, you will constantly come across Indian people who want to strike up a conversation. English not being their first language, they may not be familiar with the conventional ways of doing this, and thus their opening line may seem abrupt and at the same time very formal. Excuse me, good gentleman, what is your mother country?" is a typical one. It is also the first in a series of questions that Indian men seem sometimes to have learnt from a single book in order to ask western tourists. Some of the questions may baffle you at first ("What is your qualification? "Are you in service?"), some may be queries about the ways of the west or the purpose of your trip, but mostly they will be about your family and your job.

You may find it surprising or even intrusive that Indian people should want to know that sort of thing, but bear in mind that their culture is different to yours. For one thing, these are subjects which interest them. Secondly, they are considered polite conversation between strangers in India, and help people place each other in terms of social position. Thirdly your family, job, oreven income, are not considered "personal" subjects in India, and it is completely normal to ask people about them. Asking the same questions back will not be taken amiss - far from it. Being curious does not have the "nosey" stigma in India that it has in the west: taking an interest in other people's lives is totally up front and considered quite normal.

In general men are not supposed to talk casually with women (outside their family naturally) and Indian woman would not entertain such conversations. So if, as a female visitor, you do strike up such conversations with men, please realise that they may get a very different idea than what you intend. It can get sticky and uncomfortable. Some Indians think that western women sleep with anyone very easily... In any case never allow any man to touch you or sit closely next to you without a very good reason. Some will try! Initially you may feel flattered by such attention, but mostly it turns uncomfortable. If you need help to get rid of unwanted attention, please ask. Telling you are married may also help to keep things pleasant.

Beggars

One of the challenges you will face is dealing with the poverty. You'll see lots of beggars - as there is no system of social security, for some people who don't have family support, it is the only option. However most beggars do it as a profession, because it is easier than working. Tourists, in particular, make good targets, so you have to be firm, and sometimes hard. Very often they are working for syndicates, who take most of the money. And if the business is good, it will only encourage more to take it up. As people have a soft heart for babies and children, they will also be used more and more. Sometimes even mutilated just to make people feel pity, so they can collect more money. It's really hard!

The only way to solve this problem in the long run is to dedicate some (or all) of your time to help change society. In the short run we should help people to arrange their basic necessities, if they are genuinely in need. If you want to help, give them food, but don't give money, because this encourages others to take up begging as well, and often it gets used for alcohol or goes to the crime syndicates. Probably 90% of the wandering 'Sadhus' (India's holy men) are dressed up beggars, just using the orange robes to take advantage. We really should not support this.